I love how grounded and concrete it is. The verisimilitude allows deeper meaning to blossom instead of forcing it.
Excellent matching of eloquence and complexity with age of the narrator.
If the poem is an exploration of what it is like to have a panic attack, assigning the final line to your brother seems to suggest that you lost track of your metaphor. Instead of continuing the exploration of what it feels like to panic, it becomes a reminiscence of a trick your brother used to pull.
Some more personal exploration, or introspection, could be useful.
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